Sunday, July 24, 2011

Sticky Doors

So in this incredible heat over the last week, and the humidity that we have felt for almost a full month, every door in our apartment now sticks. I nearly dislocate my shoulder everytime I try to leave my room and it's impossible to tell if our front door is locked, which might be decent for eluding criminals.

I look forward to the day where I walk (run) home wasted, try to get in with my house key, but the door won't budge. Unable to process what is going on I will fight with it for a few minutes and then fall to the floor in tears, where I will quickly pass out to be embarrassingly found by my roommate in the morning.

So today we get home from soccer and again comment on the probable death of our neighbour who has 2 weeks worth of Gleaners stacked up in front of her door. This isn't the first time she goes missing: I was only somewhat concerned. We sit down to enjoy some Netflix action, when all of a sudden we hear some very loud pounding from above. This isn't odd, these people are noisy. They take incredibly loud steps and apparently love to hammer shit. Or at least is sounds like that. Granted they are better then the previous tenants who ran a mini bowling alley upstairs until they got evicted due to numerous domestic violence reports (true story, Connaught street is sketch).

Anyway, there are loud bangs followed by silence and more loud banging. I couldn't figure it out because it didn't sound like it was coming from above. I check the peep hole of our door but see nothing in the hall. Oh well. I'll handle it as handle everything in life:  deal with it until it's gone. But it doesn't go. No, more banging.

So, Roommate decides that enough is enough and he is going out there to sort them out. Yeah right I think. You're lazy like an old dog, no way you're up for that. But, to my surprise, he throws his shirt on and heads out the door. We were about to make an ass of ourselves. "Ooo basement floor apartment can't take a little noise :( poor guys, so sad." will headline the front page of the Gleaner tomorrow morning.

He comes back sooner than expected. In way less time than it takes to go upstairs, get mocked and come back down.

What was it? I asked in a cool voice that makes most die in my eyes.

The neighbour is back, she couldn't open her door. The humidity made it so sticky that she couldn't even budge it. Awful. That is all, pretty great story eh?

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